Author: Sjirk Bajema
Last saved by: Andrew Nugteren

SONG OF SONGS 7:9b-8:4
(Proverbs 31:10-31)

It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This!

Precious Body of our Lord Jesus Christ...

	Where does love begin?
		How could it ever be that two people become so attracted to each other in this strange way?

	You wonder about it, don’t you boys and girls?
		As you see those older people around you go all gooey over each other you’re real puzzled?
		What do they see in each other?

	Perhaps your older brother or sister suddenly becomes all strange!
		Someone of the opposite sex, who had meant nothing to them before, is now the whole centre of their universe!
			In fact, everything so much revolves around that person that you may wonder if they’re ever going to step back into the real world!
				That’s your world - of course!

	Did you see what I did?
		As boys and girls, you have a particular way of looking at this world.
			
	You know it’s sometimes quite different than Mum and Dad’s way of looking at things!
		 And you might find the same with this text, too.
			Because it speaks about what happens when you are in that love.

	Especially it tells us about that love between a husband and a wife, when it is what it should be.
		Because that means there’s two of them at work.
			Otherwise there’s no relationship!

	Well, that much we all know!
		We all have friends we relate to.
			Does any of those relationships ever stay static, though?
				Could it be that nothing ever changes between you?

	Think about it.
		Much as we would perhaps like things to stay the same, yet they cannot.

	Okay, you’ve still got friendships from many years ago.
		Still, they haven’t stayed the same.
			They have become either stronger or weaker.

	Some of your friendships would have dropped off altogether.
		New ones have begun.

	Now, we certainly know that our text is about a friendship.
		But as they are married, which way are they going?
			It’s there where our text begins, “May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth.”

	Here, congregation, is the beloved’s response to those beautiful words her husband has just used of her.
		And let’s notice how she does it.
			Because she kind’ve interrupts her husband.

	Don’t think this is being rude, though.
		She’s actually responding to his words - not wanting to get her own word in sideways!
			Out of what they have together she, too, wants to tell!

	So, in picking up his picture of wine describing her mouth, she goes further by describing how this best of wine - which is their love - should go deep into his heart.
		That’s where it would go with this kind of language.
			In the words of a first aspect to this text... THIS IS AN ALL-SURROUNDING LOVE.

	Congregation, she continues in verse 10, “I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.”
		That phrase may ring a bell.
			And looking at the other two times this phrase appears - which is in Genesis 3 and 4 - we note that there this desire of the woman for her husband is as a result of the fall into sin.
				So it’s not something there which comes naturally.

	Yet our text is quite different!
		Here it isn’t the desire of the wife for her husband.
			This speaks of the husband’s desire for his wife.

	And, notice, this desire isn’t antagonistic - like that one in Genesis.
		It’s quite the opposite!
			The motivation behind this is promotion - it’s building up!

	That’s what she’s revelling in!
		She belongs to him, and she’s the one he really wants!

	In complete contrast to the insecurity of man’s separation from God, we have here the confidence of being in love.
		This is the relaxed and joyful language of assurance.
			You could even call it a taste of heaven itself!

	It’s sweet surrender.
		Surrender into the arms of the one she can trust.

	It’s this whole aspect of giving yourself up for your love which skips us to the last two verses of our text.
		They might seem unconnected because they are apart.
			But compare “I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me,” with “His right arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me.”

	She has come into his love.
		And it’s happening more and more in her life.
			It’s such a trust.
				THIS IS AN ALL-SURROUNDING LOVE.

	Verse 4 confirms it strongly: “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: don’t arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
		Outside of this true love there should be nothing!

	There can only be one true lover!
		It’s as right physically as it is spiritually!

	No one else - apart from the bridegroom - is allowed to stir up such love.
		No other person or influence is to have this effect!

	My friends, is that how you can speak of your relationship?
		Is there anyone or anything that could possibly be construed as having a distorting effect?

	Though, dear believer, how about your relationship with Jesus?
		If He is the ultimate in bridegrooms, and the greatest amongst lovers, wouldn’t He also be the very best friend?

	That’s how we should address our marriages in these days.
		We get it right first time with the LORD!
			We will be joined with a partner who believes!

	On that foundation THIS IS AN ALL-SURROUNDING LOVE, and, secondly... THIS IS AN EVER-SEEKING LOVE.
		For it’s not only that you’re in love.
			You also have to make the time to love.

	Now, this may sound mechanical.
		Shouldn’t love be a natural and spontaneous thing?

	But, fellow Christian, how best do you walk with Jesus?
		Is it by waiting till the impulse grabs you?
			Are you looking to be suddenly zapped?

	How wrong this is.
		And how sad, as both this world’s love, and so much of Christianity these days, has so sadly shown us.

	It’s only a regular and definite time with the Lord which will bring the true blessing.
		It’s everyday work.
			And yet that which we can do everyday - that being alone with Jesus, reading His Word, and communing with Him in prayer - how rare it is!

	Is it any wonder than many Christians cannot settle down in a church with a solid Biblical ministry?
		There are so few churches like this for a start!

	The focus is away from Christ.
		It has becomes self.

	Maybe you don’t enjoy being alone in prayer.
		In fact, you hardly have any time at all with Him.

	Now, if you were in marriage like this, we’d honestly have to say you’ve got a problem.
		But if you live with the Lord like this you need to ask yourself if you’re in love with Him at all.

	I mean, look at how these two lovers in the text want to be.
		In verse 11 we hear the one say to the other, “Come, my lover, let’s go to the countryside, let’s spend the night in the villages.”

	Even if it’s not something they actually do, the Beloved yet shows how what they have together is something just to be shared alone together.
		That she thinks of her favourite places to be shows how much he is to her, and how much more she wants it to be.

	That’s what Proverbs 31 is all about.
		There is no modern-day feminist living her own life, and launching her own career.
			Rather, she is so in her husband, and he with his trust in her, that her whole living promotes what they have together in the Lord.
				While we may well have wondered how she ever did all those amazing things, yet each one is a development of what their marriage is.

	So let’s see Proverbs 31 as the very big picture.
		The big picture which has in it all the little pictures, which shows how each of our women serve.
			Because no Christian wife would be able to totally fulfil all these!
				But it shows what a godly woman can do!

	Congregation, I wonder if through writings such as Proverbs 31 and the Song of Songs, Solomon wasn’t confessing how wrong he got it with his many wives and concubines.
		As that man wrote down what the Lord’s Word was for those following him, we especially note how special he makes the monogamous marriage.
			We can’t get the impression from any of Solomon’s words that there’s meant to be anything but one woman for one man!
				There’s simply not meant to be anyone else!

	Looking further at our text shows it.
		The verses 11 and 12 are so focused on it.
			She’s actually speaking of her own vines budding, her own blossoms opening, and her own flowers sending out their lovely smell.

	Take those mandrakes, for example.
		They are the sweet smelling flower of spring.
			Spring - the season which shows so much what their lives are together!

	And what a way to wrap up the richness of what they have together with the ending of verse 13.
		Listen to how special this is: “at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover.”

	The Beloved tells to her own of how precious he is.
		But she also does this to want more.
			While they have so much, they still haven’t “arrived” in their love.
				In fact, the more they’re drawn together, the more they realise how much they still need to grow together, and with their God.

	I’m reminded of a dear elderly couple, who had been many years in the faith.
		Their walk in that faith, and their relationship with each other, was a tremendous example of advanced maturity.
			You know people like that, don’t you young people?

	This particular couple were asked once, “Because you’ve been married so long, and have been believers for even longer, you would have less difficulty with sin, wouldn’t you?”
		And that person asking knew what the answer would be.
			Here was a couple who so epitomised the blooming out and glorious wonder of Christian love!

	They answered, however, “Actually, the longer we live, and the more we grow in our Lord, the more we see clearer those sins and obstacles which before we had missed altogether!”
		What?
			You wonder what it’s all worth then.
				Fancy just getting to know more hassles and problems that you didn’t know before?

	Though congregation - what’s really happening?
		It’s not that they get extra sins - is it?
			Rather, they move on in their love so that they realise even more carefully how they are to live together.

	This is the third part to our text.
		THIS IS THE MORE-DEEPENING LOVE.
			
	Notice what she wishes.
		As chapter 8 begins, “If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother’s breasts!”

	In her dreaming - that which shows what she’s like underneath - she wants the closest of all possible relationships.
		That she uses the example of a brother tells us how close.
			Being nursed at the same mother’s breasts, having the same parents, is, physically speaking, as close as you can get.
				And that’s however it might sometimes feel like for our boys and girls!

	So it’s not that she would want him to be like a brother, but actually better than a brother!
		Then that intimacy and openness there is in the ideal family is what they’re growing in.

	For instance, if he were her brother, there could be no possible misunderstandings if he kissed her in public.
		“Oh, that’s her brother,” they would say.
			Then no offence could be taken or given.
				It’s interesting that even among the Bedouin today only a brother from the same mother has the right to kiss her in public.
		
	Do you see, dear believer, there’s this wanting to be completely open?
		No more fear!
			A wonderful picture of what heaven will be.

	Though even now we can move towards that.
		You and I can work, with the Spirit’s blessing, to love our Lord and Saviour that much more!
			THIS IS THE MORE-DEEPENING LOVE!
				It doesn’t get any better than this!

	The Beloved longs to bring her Lover home.
		She reaches out even further for the intimacy she knows can be theirs.
	
	Can we say we do the same toward the Great Lover of our souls?
		Is it Jesus whom we most deeply desire to live in and with us right now?
			Do these words of Proverbs 18 verse 24 describe how relationship to Him?
				“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

	Do you have such a friend?
		If you’re married, or hoping to be, is your partner such a one to you?

	It’s a vital question to ask.
		If you cannot grow in this, how can you expect to go in other matters.
			Because they only really flow from what really matters.

	Those who have had difficulty in one relationship will take their baggage of problems with them.
		What else should we expect if these very difficulties haven’t been worked through?

	And there may be relationships among us right now which are in name only.
		Because they aren’t relationships in which the two are growing.
			And then they wonder why there’s the hassle with the kids, and those problems with others.

	Though what a wonderful promise to those who work through their lives together!
		Because there are difficult and tense times.
			But it’s not the fact you have them - it’s what you do with them that makes the difference!
 	I mean - do you talk about it?
		Do you believe that your relationship means you’re in the same boat and so you both have to work to keep it afloat!

	They say that the family that prays together stays together.
		That’s true.
			But let me add something more.
				For the family that in faith prays together will grow even closer together!

	This is what verse 2 means when it says, “I would give you spiced wine to drink, the nectar of my pomegranates.”
		Because this is enjoying something very precious.

	We know this each time we remember the doing and dying of our Lord Jesus in the Lord’s Supper.
		That outward picture shows more and more what we have on the inside, as we become closer and closer to Him.
			When the fruit of the Spirit do blossom and ripen in our lives, we’re in it together!

	What glory that is!
		How precious that He uses us, sinful though we so terribly are!

	And to think, as much as He can work in His Body, the Church, to make it grow, so He chooses marriages to show how it can go!
		Congregation, do pray for our marriages.

	Though, most of all, let’s pray for the Church, that she will continue to grow.
		If the marriage of the Bride-Church is deepening with the Groom-Christ, we have every strength to make our own marriages what they truly meant to be!
			Amen.

PRAYER:
	Let’s pray...
		O Lord, how earnestly we must seek Your holy face!
			How we so much need to model ourselves on Your dear Son, and all that He did and still continues to do just for us!
	And when we do stumble Father, help us back.
		Let even those difficult times lead us always back to You.
			And use even us to do that to our partners and friends, too?
				For Jesus’ Name sake, we pray, Amen.